“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.”
— Elizabeth Wurtzel, Author
Here are the facts. At least one in every four cancer patients have depression. Honestly, I would think it is more like 50%. Cancer carries an enormous amount of emotional weight. We are constantly busy trying to compartmentalize numerous issues. I bet if you polled all cancer patients most of them would tell you that they are depressed at some point but may not seek therapy. The only positive thing about having cancer and depression is that most people won’t tell you to just get over anything since you have cancer! Statistics are telling us that cancer patients that deny their depression end up returning to work later, greater chance of suicide, and acquire more physical difficulties with higher medical costs. The problem I see is that the symptoms of depression can overlap with the side effects of cancer. How are we to know which is which?
Here are the symptoms of depression:
- Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness
- Loss of interest in family, loved ones or activities that you normally enjoyed
- Trouble thinking or concentrating
- Fatigue, tiredness, and exhaustion, napping consistently to not getting out of bed
- Delayed thinking, movements, or speaking
- Nausea or digestive problems, bathroom issues
- Real mood changes, including agitation or restlessness, and extreme sadness
- Insomnia, or oversleeping
Here are the side effects of cancer:
- Pain in numerous places, bones, surgery site, and veins in arms for bloodwork, and ports
- Insomnia, or oversleeping
- Chemo brain: delays in thinking, speaking etc.
- Feelings of sadness and hopelessness
- Feelings of guilt since people must take care of you
- Loss of interest or still have the interest in activities, but you can no longer handle physically
- Chronic fatigue and exhaustion from treatments
- Bathroom issues, either diarrhea or constipation depending on what meds you are taking
So, if you compare the above symptoms and side effects, they are basically the same. We all get treatment for the cancer diagnosis. So why do
we all not seek treatment or help for depression?
My guess it could be one of the following:
- We are tired, exhausted from the chemo, radiation and meds and can’t find the physical energy to make another appointment
- We feel that we can cure ourselves and we accept the depression is just part of what we are going through
- We are still inclined to think there is a stigma on depression, mental illness and seeking therapy
- Just too busy shopping online to step away from the computer
- Trapped under something heavy but really want to reach out
My real guess it is 1, 2, or 3. Trying to shove a bit of humor into this blog as usual. One of the issues I have with all this great care from all our (Ists”, see previous blog), our care is so segmented and siloed. I have had to find my own pain management, neurologist, and integrated docs. No one seems to care if you have depression and want to set you up with a therapist. Why is that? Is every hematologist/oncologist so busy they can’t take the time to diagnose depression? I think that is it. No one slows down enough to see how we are all feeling. So that leaves our emotional health up to us. Every patient needs to be their own advocate. We need to know when we are beyond sad, struggling. Or maybe we are lucky to have family members that can catch a glimpse of our down hill slide. Then again, how do we decide to finally get assistance? Perhaps there should be an alarm, like the “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up button”. Wouldn’t that be fantastic. Your psyche hits the floor and the alarm goes off. Maybe we should bring mood rings back. That way anyone could tell if we are feeling down. Perhaps we could come up with a finger probe like the ones used for pulse ox measurements that would say, “you are now depressed down to 86%? All of these triggers an alarm that immediately pulls up a list of therapists in network for you to choose. I wish there was an automated system, but something tells me none of these will actual be developed.
So, it is on us! The tough part about being depressed is that sometimes people get too paralyzed to make decisions, even the simple ones. But studies tell us that those who get help with our depression, tend to do better with our cancer care. Meaning we must heal systemically. What is the best solution to get our mental health back on track through our cancer treatments?
Let other people help you! Take the first step and reach out to find a therapist. Ignore any naysayers. There are plenty of support groups as well to attend virtually now. If you go to the website links on my blog under the “On Serious Note”, you will find all the major cancer information sites. They all have support groups by city or zip code. Even if you are in therapy already and just want someone to chat with, you can look up these groups. There are also groups per type of cancer on Facebook. I am currently in five multiple myeloma and neuropathy groups. You must be admitted by the administrator but that is just simply asking to join.
So, in summary, Cancer patients get depression. There is help there for everyone. If all else fails, you can online shop as a diversion to therapy and add me to your Amazon shipping addresses. I’m not that picky.
Until the next time, find something to laugh about and share.
Best,
Cathy
I say take the plunge the second you start to drown in sadness or grief. Find a therapist asap. You can easily ask your integrated medicine department to help you. If you don’t have one, then go to psychologytoday.com. Enter in your zip code. Start your search. It is rather easy to find several therapists. In these COVID times, it may be tough in certain cities since clinicians are busy with mounted quarantined depression and issues. But don’t give up on yourself. Mental health is just as important as your physical care.