When you get cancer, it takes some time for you to come to grips with what it means to not only yourself but to others. Am I going to be pitied? Are people going to stay away from me thinking they might catch cancer? Will I be able to communicate necessary information without feeling vulnerable? What will I tell my family? What does this mean for my future? How can I function daily with this juberous albatross around my neck? Is there anything good going to come of this bitter disease?
Once you settle in, you start wondering if there any perks from having the Big C? Then it occurred to me, hmm, could there be a Cancer Card? What exactly is a cancer card and how do you utilize it?
Questions come to mind about having one:
- How often can I use it?
Well honestly, I started out using it a lot. Especially with my husband. I whined enough to get a rescue dog. Doughal Henry came into our lives because of the cancer card. It can come in handy when you do not want to attend certain social functions due to treatment exhaustion. - Do I get points or miles or cash back?
Most credit cards these days give you perks or miles or even cash back. Will people really give me cash because I have cancer? Will they donate their Marriott points to me? Unlikely. Can I purchase things with points earned? Not usually. - Does it expire?
Of course, it can’t expire! If you have cancer, even if you are in remission, it has a forever shelf life. - Does it have a CDX on the back of it?
Nope, no one will ever ask you for the number or security code on the back to validate that you actually have cancer. Unless you decide to have a cancer card printed out! - Does everyone and every place, accept it?
Well honestly, no, a lot of people do not accept it. Especially family at some point will get tired of it. But please do not let that deter you from continuing the use of your card. You can always beat them down. - Can my family & friends utilize the card as well?
Fast forward to Napa, when I asked if I could get a free wine because I have cancer. The answer was a clear NO at Del Dotto Vineyard. We did get free wine glasses when I asked my friend Jen to sing in the middle of the lobby! She is rather amazing. We got some fantastic wine at Anderson Conn Valley, when she sang in the caves as well. But she didn’t use the cancer card.
Fast forward to Tudal Winery. John Tudal gave us two amazing bottles of wine to take for dinner that night. He knew we were celebrating my first remission from our group conversations. Great guy! Stunning wine!
The only opportunity for a friend to utilize the cancer card is when they are directly with me or have a social engagement that they want out of going. Best if they tell me first and I can guilt them into them making dinner for me in return.
My children have used it extensively. Days off, free trips home, but always to see me. That is totally acceptable and encouraged. Unlike high school when I recently found out I was the strictest mother on earth. Apparently, I never allowed my daughter to go anywhere and she always blamed it on me. I certainly would have let her go to parties etc. Hmm she got to practice here. - Who would dare decline it?
Hmm, lots of people decline it. My number one decliner, obviously as per my previous blogs, is The Make a Wish Foundation! Only ages 2.5 to eighteen years need apply. So much again for myself and my closest ten family and friends going to truffle hunt in Italy! Don’t you think there should be a Make a Wish Program for Adults? Does anyone know the number of the ACLU?
My husband has declined the card over and over again when I suggest we get two sweet adorable kitties. Not fair! They would be great to cuddle
with in times of pain and exhaustion!
One of my first memorable declines was in the Boston waterfront Westin hotel. Checking in while my rep Chip headed to the lobby bar after a very long ugly day of business, to get us cocktails. Of course, it was winter, so drink of choice is a Manhattan. Preferably with Blanton’s bourbon, my fav. He yelled over to the desk, “they do not have Blanton’s”. I said, “tell him I have cancer!”. Reply from the bartender,” yeah, we still don’t have Blanton’s.” I said Basil Hayden”. Chip said ok they have this. I checked in and headed over to the bar. The bartender then made my drink then said, he was out of cherries! Not even really good, Luxardo cherries, but those fake red maraschino cherries. I didn’t have to speak, when Chip said,” did you not hear that she has cancer, please go find some!” And he did!
My kids have caught on and often decline the card. Sometimes there is no sympathy in remission. I have not seen them in 8 months due to COVID. It is killing me, but they are afraid that I will get sick, so I understand. - Is there a Platinum or Titanium status?
Of course not. Having cancer is the status! You will get more confidence when using the card often. But unfortunately, it’s not like American Express where you get points and a lovely metal card to put in your wallet. You do however get that sweet “I have Cancer, so put me through the ER as fast as Possible Card” given to you when you start treatment at your cancer center. It’s plain paper in a plastic sleeve. Nice red writing on it. No one else accepts it but your hospital ER. Such a shame. - Is there a credit limit?
There shouldn’t be a limit, but one can’t expect to use it constantly. Since I am in my second remission, I have learned a lot of what to expect from treatments as well as human reaction. The cancer card works best with strangers or in situations that are new. Since COVID, I have no immune system, so no need to spring the card out to miss parties, dinners, or unnecessary meetings. Best saved for post COVID situations that might make me think, my life is too short to do things like this! Besides, my warden does not allow me out very often, afraid I will get sicker. So, I have decided, each time I go into remission, my card balance goes to zero. Feel free to spend! - Do you get a better rate or anything free when you recommend to a friend?
Doubtful. My friends would be too scared to ever borrow the card. They are all afraid of Karma. I don’t blame them.
Anyway, I hope you found this interesting. Now you know the rules of the cancer card. Feel free to pass it to anyone that might need a chuckle. Until the next time, find something funny to share.
Best,
Cathy